I have been feeling like I am unstoppable. I started a diet and exercise plan that I have followed through with 100%. I am almost half way to my weight loss goal and it's only been about 2 weeks! I have been back in school studying accounting for almost a year now and have made all A's (mostly 4.0) in all of my classes. I get to spend my days with my smart, handsome, funny little boy without the added stress of watching another child. I felt amazing. I even started this blog that I have been wanting to do for months.
Last night I checked my online course to find out my score for the first test. It said 21/35 or 61.76%. I got out a calculator and checked 21/35 just to make sure I was reading it correctly. This was the worst grade I have ever received in a college course. All of the pride and positivity I had been feeling all came crashing down. Immediately I thought, "What if I'm not smart enough to be an accountant?" Not only did I feel like a stupid failure, but I felt like I was letting my family down and wasting our hard earned money trying to go to school for something that I am not smart enough to do.
Last night all I wanted to do was open the pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked ice cream that I bought for Justin and eat it all. Then I realized something. I'm not perfect and that's okay. I wasn't going to let this grade derail all my efforts. Instead of burying my sorrows in ice cream, I ate some cantaloupe and a little light ricotta cheese with cinnamon and stevia. I sat down and worked on homework. The only way that I would truly be a failure is if I give up.
Today I still feel upset about getting such a low grade, but I am going to use that feeling as a motivator to study harder and do better because I know I can.